Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Rest Now, Sweet Michael

I guess my first blog will be a somber one, but one that will mean a lot to me though. The death of Michael Jackson has affected me in a way I never imagined. Sure, I loved his music and knew some tidbits about him before his death, but it was not until his death that I realized what an incredible man he truly was, and man I would have given anything to have met and gotten to know on a personal level. He was a genius, a unique genius that was gifted far beyond just the realm of singing and dancing. He said that sometimes he felt like he was Charlie Chaplin, and being the huuuuuge Chaplin fan that I am, he really was like him, more so than anyone else I can name. He was a true all-around-artistic-yet-perfectionistic genius who touched the lives of millions, as Chaplin was and did. He also had many people turn on him, just as Chaplin did for his stance on World War II and the age of some of his wives. Chaplin essentially had to flee America, as did Michael when he left in 2005 for the Middle East. Chaplin was not considered strange though, as Michael was. I personally never thought Michael was "weird" or a "freak", I guess because I am what some people would consider weird myself. Seriously, how many girls do you know of that love alligators and would prefer their hair to be blue? Michael was unique and had a grand sense of humor, but would you expect any less from an artist? No real artist could ever be boring.

But, what is so sad to me now though is I never realized what pain Michael experienced throughout his life from the cruelty of human nature, yet here was a man who tried to help so many people throughout the world and tried so desperately to eradicate all that was bad and hurtful. His children are now without a father, his precious mother without a son, his siblings without a brother. No parent should ever have to endure the loss of a child, and it breaks my heart to think of his mother Katherine, as sometimes I attempt to feel what she is feeling now. It is unbearable. As for his children, he had to take on the role of not only father, but mother, sole provider, and best friend. I was so proud of Paris when she spoke at the memorial service, standing up for her father. She said few words, but her message was big and powerful and broke barriers. It pisses me off to see in the news that people think she was exploited or should not have spoken when three years ago Bindi Irwin basically did the same thing and was applauded for her speech, rightfully so. Paris had every right to speak about her father, to defend him, and to tell the world she loves him. She is a strong little girl, and biological father or not, she has the same strength and beauty in her character, exactly like her one and only father who loved her and her siblings more than anything in this world. Paris, Prince Michael, and Blanket are blessed to have Michael as their father, and nothing will ever take that fact away from them, even if he is no longer living.

Concerning Michael's health, I firmly believe that Michael suffered from vitiligo. The public gave him such a hard time about his change in skin color when it shouldn't have even mattered, even if he turned himself tie-dye! I have seen people with vitiligo before and you can't help but noticed how their skin is different and naturally think "what happened to them to cause that"? I mean, Michael already had such a hard time with people talking about his changing face and such, so I can only imagine what they would say, think, or do had he had drastically two-toned skin rather than the one shade which happened to be the shade in which his skin began to change. Why were people so concerned about his nose anyway? It wasn't like he was telling people to go get surgery on their nose! I mean yes, it hurt me to see him change his nose and appearance because deep inside it made me think he didn't think he was handsome, though he certainly was. But to me, he was always a beautiful person, and even with the changes, he still looked the same to me. I know that might sound crazy to some, but I am serious and mean it. But regardless, his physical changes shouldn't have mattered to the people who simply cared about the music and moves. Instead of people ridiculing him, they should have just kept their negative opinions to themselves and looked deeper within themselves to try and understand what would cause someone to do this, given him sympathy, and realized it probably was some type of cry for help. It was personal struggle within himself put on display for the entire world to see and the world to react to, and the reaction was for the most part heartless and crude.

Now comes the allegations that Michael was a drug abuser, or misuser. I hate the phrase "drug abuser". There is a difference between someone who does it just to do it, and someone who is so psychologically traumatized, or physically dependent, that they don't see any other way to cope other than to resort to chemical usage that is unhealthy. I am sure he had medication problems off and on during his life. But, just take a look at his life in the general scope of things. Almost everyone in the entire world, 6 billion people, know or knew his name and who he was. Now, imagine being accused of something so heinous, being accused of molesting and hurting children, and having some 6 billion people out there judge you when 5.999 billion of them don't even know you or have ever even laid eyes on you. Then, factor in that Michael was not just anyone, but someone with a huge heart, someone who was ultra-sensitive, like many artists are. Everyone that knew Michael personally talks about his kind and sensitive soul and speaks of his innocence. There is absolutely no way that these kind of false accusations could not destroy anyone's life. I know there are other people out there who have been falsely accused of such atrocities, but none of them have had the entire world know about it and judge them and call them such hideous names, plaster it on tabloids and on the news. Michael would never hurt a child or take advantage of a child, and I firmly believe that with all my heart and soul. He was a child himself in one form because he truly was robbed of his childhood. Yet he was an adult, too, and knew the difference between right and wrong, and he also had a conscious. He was naive in many ways, much like that of a child, and these vile creatures took advantage of him because of that flaw. I wish that those who have lied would come forward and admit to their lies and clear his name. It is better late than never! People need to associate his name for his work, not with this bullshit that had no factual basis and should not even be being brought up anymore! I know some people out there think he was guilty, but before jumping to conclusions, go deeper within yourself to try and understand this man who experienced a life like no one else. I am sure many did not know he grew up sharing a bed with his brothers, living in a two-bedroom house with 9 siblings. Perhaps from that, he tried to revert back to those simple childhood days, to attempt to relive the childhood stripped from him, to start from that point onward. And though I am not a parent, I don't care who they are, I would never, ever accept any amount of money if someone had inappropriately touched my child. I would see to it they went to prison, or that I killed them with my bare hands.

Now back to the issue of drug misuse. I have done some reading and it seems like his problem of prescription drug misuse occurred with each of child molestation charges, 1993 and 2005, respectively. No human on this planet can feel the magnitude of pain that he felt when he was accused of these crimes, pain that I am sure manifested itself in a multitude of ways. It is now known that Michael had lupus, a nasty disease that can cause a lot of pain. Lupus tends to flare up during periods of stress so I can only imagine the pain just from the lupus alone with the allegations brought against him. Michael also had physical pain from injuries sustained from his concerts and dancing. So, this would explain his initial use or need of prescription drugs, narcotic drugs, for pain. Pain is a legitimate reason to use painkillers, obviously. Then, you put into the picture doctors who gave Michael anything he thought he needed, Michael not being a medical professional himself or knowing what he did and did not need, and doctors who were not there to take care of his health but were their to take care of their own narcissism or sociopathy. These doctors didn't care that narcotic painkillers are dangerous or that they need to be monitored. They abused Michael and he didn't even realize it! They tricked him, mislead him, and ultimately, killed him and stripped his family, friends, and fans from a man who cared so much about them. Never mind his emotional torment that lie beneath many of his problems. Medical professionals have a duty to protect their patients and provide them with the utmost care, not kill them! I bawled my eyes out when I heard that Diprivan had been used to treat his insomnia. He just wanted sleep, eight hours, to feel rested. I am sure Michael asked for it since it appears that this so-called doctor Neil Ratner had given it to him before on his last tour. This Neil Ratner must certainly be without a conscious to have given such a drug for insomnia in the first place. Michael was intelligent, but he was not a medical professional and could not have truly understood the implications that could result from the use of such drugs as Diprivan. It doesn't help when someone who has no medical knowledge is tricked into trusting someone that they should trust to improve their health. Michael was desperate for help in many facets of his life, from pain to insomnia. But no doctor on this planet should have even considered giving him Diprivan for insomnia! Any doctor who was in on this needs to be prosecuted and imprisoned and BLAMED fully! Honestly, they should face the death penalty for what they did, because their actions have resulted in a death that was planned out and skillfully done! I know some of Michael's friends have spoken out saying that they tried to intervene. I think instead of saying he refused the intervention, I think it should be looked at more like he felt intervention would fail him and that is why he turned away from those who tried to help him and cared about his welfare. It wasn't that he didn't believe them or didn't want help, but he didn't want to deal with the torture head-on because it was simply too difficult. His mind was truly tormented, and as far as I am concerned, it affected his beliefs of what could and couldn't help him and also affected his ability to make decisions. He was brainwashed by psychopaths with medical licenses! Instead of joining a religious cult, he joined a medical cult without even knowing it! What a shame that people can take advantage of someone like this, someone that was so vulnerable for help, someone who truly wanted to be helped and loved and appreciated. Medical professionals should never take advantage of someone, someone like Michael who tried to convince the world he was one person, when the majority of the world thought of him as another. Now in his death, people should respect him in some form, if not just solely based on his art, and finally, finally stop slandering him and defaming his character. If you don't care about him as a person, then just stick to judging his art. That is what he left for the world as his immortal gift, and it is a precious one indeed.

1 comment:

  1. well it has taken me almost two years to find your blog - but tonight I am so glad I stumbled to your page.

    outstanding post - I can't wait to read through them all in order