Confused and Amazed...But Not in a Good Way

(I am tired, stressed, and sick of proofreading. Pardon any mistakes.)

I sit here confused and amazed. I know I am not being ignorant when I say these things. I just saw a report on HLN, that tabloidesque show with AJ Hammer and they lumped Michael, Anna Nicole Smith, Heath Ledger and Corey Haim all together as addicts...

Let's see here. First off let me see I feel such sympathy for Anna Nicole and Heath Ledger. I will always say someone had great responsibility in both of their deaths other than themselves. Both had issues in their lives causing them grief. But, ultimately, they both administered the drugs that killed themselves which was likely accidental but nonetheless by their own hands. Michael did not do this. Michael likely was in and out of consciousness, or completely out, when Murray decided to give him multiple benzodiazepines and then topped it off with propofol, or combined them at some point while not assisting his breathing in any form or matter. Michael was in no form to be able to make decisions that night, if he could even speak. However, he has now become a poster boy for celebrities who get their ways with doctors because they are addicts and have money and/or fame. This pisses me off. Michael deserves better. His life was not wasted. He raised three beautiful children. He donated millions upon millions of dollars to charities and individuals. He actually took time out of his life to spend helping others. Much of this went unheard of, though. Instead people focus on the 1993 and 2003 allegations and now consider him a drug addict. It breaks my heart for this man. I am afraid to ask, but could it possibly get any worse?

Are we going to sit there and allow Michael to be lumped into the same group of people that died from drugs, some of which abused meth, cocaine, heroin, ecstasy etc? Do we for one second think he ever abused those drugs? Do you think he snorted lines or shot his veins? Can you actually picture him doing that when he wore friggin' high-water pants for Christ's sake? Michael kept away from all of this garbage even after having one of the most unique and rather tragic lives we have ever witnessed. He was burned. He was emotional traumatized, too. Are we going to continue to allow the media to blame stars, especially Michael, for having clout to their name while they defend their doctors? Doctors are suppose to have a conscious--it is part of their duty to their patients to diagnose them and make choices for them. Since when is a celebrity or anyone for that matter suppose to make their own medical decisions and counteract what a doctor does or does not do for them? I know there are a lot of quacks out there but unless you are in the medical field they are hard to spot out. If a celebrity or anyone goes to a doctor and the patient oversteps their boundary, as all people, not just celebrities do, then that is the doctors' responsibility to say no and correct the situation.

Why in this culture do we place doctors on such a high pedestal that they can do no wrong? They show up drunk to work, abuse drugs, kill people and they still are held in such high esteem and basically worshipped by some people, hmm, kind of like some celebrities. Just look at Murray, his failure to support his children, his multiple affairs (rarely do I hear of a doctor who has NOT had an affair), his debt, his past record. People are still blaming Michael saying he brought this on himself. Michael brought all this misery into his life by trying to help children whose parents began lying about him for money which then led to the destruction of his life? (I will write about this tomorrow.) Murray is the one who went to medical school, completed 3 fellowships and practiced cardiology over the course of 21 years. So why is Michael having the blame put on him because he had fame and some supposed wicked power that overtook Murray and MADE him do things? It doesn't happen that way. Murray didn't have to do anything but keep his patient alive and care about him. He didn't even do that. Responsibility needs to be shifted onto doctors, doctors who go to school to save lives--not celebrities because people know their name and it generates money for the media outlets.

Why is it that I see how people always say celebrities get away with everything and have all this power? So does everyone else. I know felons who are living the high-life and they are not celebrities. I know people who have multiple DUIs and are still able to go buy booze at the liquor store and party on the weekends. I know people who have abused drugs. When I was in high school my classmates used drugs and had sex with each other--sometimes multiple partners in one night. This isn't just in the zip code 90210--it is everywhere. It is just celebrities have their business known to the world and people do try to cling onto them for their fame and use them--but that's it. Otherwise, what is going on in Hollywood is USA, today. You either take part in it or you don't.

What's sad is Michael didn't take part in this kind of hoopla. He stayed away from it. He was a good kid who worked hard, worked too hard. He was someone who got things done and did them right. He was someone who felt the needs of others and tried to tend to those needs. I cannot sit here and be silent while I slowly watch this man's legacy stripped from him. It is hanging on by bare threads. It isn't fair. He was one of the great humanitarians to ever live. We have to stand up for him, stand tall and firm. We have to take the same type of blows he did, but the more of us that try to help him, the lesser the blows will be--he took all the blows alone. His legacy, his reputation, and in some form, his life must be rebuilt. I know the allegations will likely always be a part of his life as will his manner of death, but that doesn't mean that his life was wasted. He literally made the world a better place and continues to do so even not being here. How many can say they do that? He still touches people's hearts and their minds--and their souls. Now we must touch his.