A Plea to the Voices

After hearing this and that on various social outlets today I felt the need to toss this piece together. It went from an angry rant into somewhat of a heartfelt yet eager plea to many people out there that actually have an audible voice for Michael. I would give anything to be his voice. I can only hope that some who are his voice will, after reading this if they even find it, realize what really does lie within their power.


First, this is not an argument as to whether or not Michael Jackson was a prescription drug addict. You are free to believe what you want though as far as I am concerned his autopsy report and the prescriptions at his house seriously dispute such notions. But, when those who knew Michael call him an "addict" or even insinuate such (which is fairly easy to do) in interviews or what not--you are damning him, his legacy and any hope of justice in his death. When I hear or read such information I literally feel like I am being stabbed in the heart. You may think you are being honest and open but is it worth it? Look how many out there are NOT honest and merely using him and his name for personal gain. There are so many lies out there, defaming ones, so why even try to be honest about the very confusing and complex subject of drug abuse when the hint of such is being used by people (ex. the media) who do not care about him to further commit him into a hell he experienced while alive? Murray's defense, in whole if not part, is banking on Michael being deemed an "addict" even though a) propofol is not recognized by the DEA as an addictive drug/drug of abuse, b) it does not cause withdrawal and c) it does not create tolerance--key factors in a medications being addictive. Even though Murray reported no addiction issues to UCLA staff (as reported in the wrongful death suit), Murray later changed things around and claimed in the Las Vegas search warrant:


"Jackson remained awake and at approximately 1040 hours Murray finally administered 25 mg of propofol diluted with lidocaine, via IV drip to keep Jackson sedated, after repeated demands/requests from Jackson." (FYI, you do not dilute propofol with lidocaine.)


This statement is Murray's attempt at establishing Michael as a hardcore drug addict that manipulated and pressured him (yes, poor Murray) into feeding his addiction by using monetary persuasion. Wait, who is the victim here? I thought it was Michael Jackson, the one who was ripped from our lives too soon.


The statement in the search warrant is crucial. Notice the phrase "after repeated demands/requests". That is one of the major tell-tale signs of addiction. Murray knows this of course. However, when most people discuss Michael's previous abuse they cannot name the substance, cannot admit to seeing him take or administer anything and then insinuate his addiction must have been to prescription painkillers which is understandable given he suffered from real physical pain due to differing ailments that required him take pain medications from time to time. Also, it is natural to assume an addiction (or moreover abuse) may have developed from stress he faced in the later years of his life. What people fail to acknowledge in good faith is his legitimate complaint of pain that would have need to have been treated, and the possibility of dependence rather than addiction, being a scenario that may have played out over the years coupled with or without malpractice. There could be other factors, too, that are not even drug-related. Regardless of what may or may not have occurred, there is no reason to even discuss a problem with painkillers when they had absolutely no role in his death. Those medications are irrelevant. Those medications have been irrelevant since June 25th, 2009. What good does it to bring them up? What good does it do to discuss what he may or may not have taken or why? What does any of this have to do with promoting Michael's artist achievements, his humanitarian spirit, his caring soul or his playful personality? Answer--nothing. The general public knows more about the molestation allegations and now drug abuse and addiction claims than they do about his charity contributions of over $300 million dollars and his wickedly funny sense of humor. That is all they will ever know if something is not done and not done soon.


Referring back to the key statement from the search warrant above, Murray was, "keep(ing) Jackson sedated". Dr. Murray--was he awake or sedated? How did he remain awake (and demanding no less) if he was being kept sedated? Maybe I can answer my own questions.


Michael apparently was "under the influence" at times, according to some witnesses, during rehearsals. In Katherine Jackson's law suit against AEG, it is said AEG said Michael was "too sleepy". Well, the only medications that he had apparently been administered were a) benzodiazepines, b) propofol and c) the ephedrine/caffeine/aspirin capsules (aka ECA Stack capsules). Any and all other medications, taken or not, are irrelevant. Remember again there were no painkillers (opioids or opioid narcotics) in his house or in the released toxicology results. Such usage, whether abuse or not, is not relevant to his death which is an ongoing homicide investigation (at least, it should be) but if his purported abuse/addiction continues to be brought up it will be somehow used to justify Murray killing a man who was constantly persecuted and tortured in life for being a child-at-heart. Remember Murray being handcuffed last year? Oh yeah, he was not handcuffed. His bail was essentially nothing. He is enjoying frolics on the beach and pumping iron at the gym yet before Michael died he was supposedly broke. Does his life seem ruined? Michael lost his life due to this man's actions yet Murray is the one who is getting indirectly defended even by those who love Michael. Something has to be done if we ever want to see a shred of justice for Michael. Something has to be done if we want Michael to be remembered as something more than a drug addict, and I hate say it, but also a child molester when anyone who can read can read the information that proves he never, ever did anything like that to any child. He was not even capable of such acts! But, people who do not know him and who cannot see past the molestation and drug abuse claims (or do not want to see past them because those claims turn them away from the truth) will never understand him if all they ever hear about him are comments that assassinate his character and make him out to be something horrible.


Knowing Michael had no pain medications in his body when he died and none in his house (and it seems none written for home use in quite some time), this rules them out as being a source of him being "under the influence", at least, while at rehearsals, especially concerning the last week of his life. If he came out of Klein's office "under the influence" then so be it--he was no doubt having procedures done to his face as the photographs do not lie. Those procedures would have required some pre-medication to treat anxiety/pain. Regardless of what Klein did or did not use, anyone addicted to pain medications would almost certainly not only have a positive drug screen for opioids (Michael's urine and blood tests were negative) but also need to have the medications in the house to avoid withdrawals. Addiction is an ongoing process that requires constant use of the substance, especially concerning opioids, most of which have very short duration of action.


Propofol does not cause one to appear as if they are "under the influence". After awaking, the hangover effects last approximately 30 seconds then there is no signs of drug usage at all. ECA capsules do not make one high. They might leave you anxious, tense, stressed, suffering from INSOMNIA, if anything. That leaves only one class of drugs left to have been causing him problems--benzodiazepines.


Benzodiazepines work in the body in a similar fashion to that of alcohol. They do have the potential of addiction but addiction to these drugs is rare, as is abuse of these drugs, too. These medications, if taken (or in Michael's case are administered by another) in excess amounts they can cause a hangover effect. They can cause drowsiness, confusion and amnesia--some symptoms Michael reportedly suffered from at rehearsals. The effects of benzodiazepines can last hours, depending on the medication. Excess use (or administration) can lead to tolerance and dependence over time. However, given Michael seemed to be exhibiting signs of excess use from these medications that leads me to believe they were in fact sedating him the night he died, contrary to Murray's claim that he was up all night demanding propofol yet he was supposedly being kept sedated while demanding. After all, Murray admits Michael slept the entire 8 hours the night before just on lorazepam and midazolam. So, how did he suddenly fail to be sedated by those to medications plus diazepam? I am not buying it. The medications had an effect on Michael and it was obviously profound enough to be visible at rehearsals.


Let's break down Table 3A from the autopsy report concerning the benzodiazepines:

Michael had a prescription for clonazepam from Dr. Metzger in April. Metzger gave Michael a 30 day supply. Twenty-two tablets were apparently taken during a 68-day period based on the date on the bottle. That seems to be the only prescription for a benzodiazepine written for Michael by any other physician--besides Murray.


Murray wrote for three benzodiazepines prescriptions--not including the vials of IV benzodiazepines he purchased illegally (without the use of his medical or DEA license number) and administered to Michael. The first prescription was for temazepam, filled in December of 2008. Temazepam is a benzodiazepine commonly used for insomnia. It was written for 30 capsules--a month's supply. Michael still had three tablets left after six months. Then in April Murray apparently wrote a prescription for lorazepam. Again, a month's supply of this medication was written for Michael. Nine tablets of that month's supply remained after approximately sixty days had passed. Only days before Michael died Murray apparently wrote for a 15-day supply of diazepam. I can only assume this was the first time he had received a prescription for diazepam unless a previous bottle had been thrown away which seems unlikely. He wrote for him to take 1/2 or one tablet every six hours. Three tablets were missing over the course of four days--he could have officially taken up to four tablets in one day. This is extremely large dosing for a patient though who, in the past, was given benzodiazepines to take either at night or at night as needed only--indicating use for insomnia which in itself seems pretty amazing given Michael's life of recurrent stress. I cannot say with certainty what Michael's complete medication profile looks like. It would seem that what was found in the house was a pretty accurate description of his drug use given the dates on the bottles.


The biggest problem concerning benzodiazepines does not lie with Michael but with Murray. Murray's administration of IV benzodiazepines at night was not okay nor was it ever necessary given Michael could (when awake, at least) take tablets or capsules. Michael had no control over the situation once sedated by Murray by not one, not two, but three different benzodiazepines, two of which were given IV. Add propofol, no resuscitative equipment and a failure to call 911 and you have a dead patient who had no control over what happened to him. You have a case of homicide.


Remember, it was not "pills" that killed Michael. He did not even have one "pill" in his stomach. It was not addiction that killed Michael. It was another human being's actions that killed Michael. I do not think Michel even asked for those medications that night, personally. No healthy person should die under a doctor's direct care. No doctor would "care" for a patient like Murray "cared" for Michael. Not only did Murray provide the medications, he set up the means to give them and pushed them into his vein which put him there seeing everything that was happening to Michael. I mean, people kill others using their cars and what not, but Murray actually used his skills, mind, debit card, hands, equipment and substances to do what he did to Michael. How does that equate to manslaughter?


Many believe others have blood on their hands concerning Michael's death. If you believe that then realize if Murray is not put on trial or found blameless due to the pressures of a drug-addicted celebrity, then all other parties will walk away unscathed as the blame for Michael's death will always, according to the courts, be Michael's fault and Michael's fault only. Surely to God those who love this man do not want this to happen to him. It will either be a chain reaction of justice or injustice with the latter currently the most probable. If a loved-one was shot with a gun and killed by someone else, would it make sense to say, "well, (my loved one) did own firearms, though." No, of course not. A statement like that implies wrongdoing on the part the loved-one when they had nothing to do with their own death. The case with Michael really is no different. He is the victim, not Murray. Michael is dead, not Murray.


I have tried to break this down as much as possible for people to understand because it is literally eating at my core. I am begging people who have a voice for Michael to PLEASE think before you speak. I want people to speak out for him but I do not want the media getting what they want--a martyr who makes them money. Yes, he suffered, but so did the numerous children he tried to help across the world. What I am trying to say is do not feed into the ploy of Michael being another "doomed story", another celebrity that drugged themselves into oblivion from their fame and self-pity. Fame does not kill people. Michael fell victim to sociopathic liars who either lied and/or manipulated him. Do not let them now manipulate YOU into saying something that does not help this precious yet misunderstood man. Please, help him, help those of us who never knew him to know the real him. I am not asking to paint him into a perfect light but there is too much at stake to make statements that do not promote something better than what is being said out there about him now.


~Every person in the United States is innocent until proven guilty though I may seem to speak on the basis of guilt. Too bad the media forgot in innocence until proven otherwise when Michael was forced into a trial that should have never been that ultimately destroyed his career and his life.~